The Causeway, Sunday Late Afternoon

[firstofitskind]

Liam had been holding himself together by, basically, the skin of his teeth ever since they'd left the Sour Nest. It was unfamiliar territory, he needed to be on guard, he could not afford to let himself fall apart.

Then the portal dropped them back off on the island, and everything just hit him like a metaphorical freight train.

He'd been trying so hard to keep the guard's- Tomas, he had a name- memories separate from his own but they were there, they were loud, and it wasn't just him, it was Robert, it was all the bodies Ha'gel had worn through his years of studying various cultures.

There were so many. So many voices, thoughts, memories, all coming through at once. He couldn't do this. He didn't want this.

He needed it to stop.

His face went slack, eyes blank as he retreated inside himself, away from the chaos and the noise of it all. He just wanted it to be quiet again, that wasn't too much to ask, was it?

[ooc: for anyone who might have reason to be around! pings will be slowish while i am at work.]

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[arboreal_priestess]

"Antimony sent them a new video game," Verity said with a deep sigh. "They've been in their room, on their Switch, playing some kind of weird goose game."

It should be noted that Verity did not have a Switch.

[firstofitskind]

“Figures,” Liam snorted softly in amusement. “Think they’d mind if I interrupted?” Maybe not, like, right after they were done in here, but eventually.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Are you kidding?" Verity sighed. "Then they could show you their dumb game."

They'd have a ball and probably declare a new holiday.

[firstofitskind]

“It’s important to show interest in what they like!” Liam protested. Which was maybe more relevant to child development than Aeslin mice but uh.

Look.

Somewhere out there was a kid who shared some of Liam’s DNA, who might need him in his life someday. And there were also two other possible children he’d met in years previous that he’d like to make a reality, eventually. So... he’d been reading, yeah. He wasn’t in any particular rush (unless and until it became clear that William needed them, at which point all bets were off), but. It had been on his mind the last couple weeks.

[arboreal_priestess]

"And that's how you end up taking part on a passion play about my grandparents, emphasis on the passion and no thank you," Verity said, who had...not...been doing any of that.

[firstofitskind]

Liam just liked to be prepared. Though ideally they’d have lots of time to settle into married life (admittedly not that different from what they’d been doing since he moved in, except for the legal documentation) before adding kids to the mix.

“... Hard pass on that,” Liam agreed, making a face at her.

[arboreal_priestess]

"You're the one who wants to show interest," Verity reminded with a small, half-smile. "I was happy to let them rot their tiny little mousey brains out on video games and call it good."

[firstofitskind]

“Interest in their video game,” Liam clarified. “I do draw the line somewhere,” he added, in the tone of someone who was very well aware of just how much the mice had him wrapped around their tiny little fingers.

[arboreal_priestess]

"I mean, I'm just going to point out right here and now that this is the literal definition of 'slippery slope,' but it's fine," Verity told him. "I will just 'I told you so' until the end of days later."

[firstofitskind]

Liam just stuck his tongue out at her, because he was a paragon of maturity like that.

[arboreal_priestess]

"You have no arguments because I'm right," she informed him.

[firstofitskind]

"Sometimes," he admitted grudgingly.

Most of the time, really.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Right now," she said, eyebrows up.

[firstofitskind]

“Right now,” he echoed, tone one of grudging acknowledgement but expression betraying a hint of amusement.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Glad you realized it," Verity said, leaning down to kiss his temple. "Ready to get out yet?"

[firstofitskind]

Liam sighed, her question making him realize how the bath water had cooled enough to no longer be really comfortable. “Guess so.”

[arboreal_priestess]

"Come on," Verity said, offering a hand up. "Let's get you dried off and some tea in you."

[firstofitskind]

Liam nodded, clasping her hand with his. His control was tenuous enough that she’d be able to pick up on what he was feeling- guilt, grief, frustration- but at least it wasn’t as bad as it had been back on the causeway, when he’d been wrapped up in those other memories to the point where he’d been Sharing those.

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity was appreciative of the difference as she slid the other arm around him. "What are you going to say next time in therapy?" she murmured.

[firstofitskind]

... Oh, shit. It was Sunday, wasn’t it? Which made his usual appointment tomorrow.

“Dunno where to even start,” he admitted. “The things I saw in Beau’s world, the things I did there, these memories that aren’t mine...?”

Including the fact that they’d been getting easier and easier to access, the last few months. Like during their post-wedding road trip, when he’d so easily been able to make use of Robert’s knowledge.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Take a moment," Verity said, steering Liam into a chair as she got a cup for the tea. "Consider. What is the thing that is the affects you the most?"

[firstofitskind]

Liam was silent for a long moment, and then: "Not being able to tell what's me and what isn't."

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity handed the teacup over, then bent down to rest her forehead against his. "You should talk about that," she murmured. "It's important."

[firstofitskind]

Liam had to resist the urge to pull her on to his lap; with a cup full of tea it was probably a bad idea. But having her so close was reassuring, grounding.

“I can remember what it was like, being a trainee with the Covenant,” he said casually. “I could tell you a million tiny details about Robert Bullard’s life.” He couldn’t help the shudder of revulsion that ran through him at that; this was the man who’d tortured Verity and Liam could tell her how he liked his eggs, for fucks sake.