The Causeway, Sunday Late Afternoon

[firstofitskind]

Liam had been holding himself together by, basically, the skin of his teeth ever since they'd left the Sour Nest. It was unfamiliar territory, he needed to be on guard, he could not afford to let himself fall apart.

Then the portal dropped them back off on the island, and everything just hit him like a metaphorical freight train.

He'd been trying so hard to keep the guard's- Tomas, he had a name- memories separate from his own but they were there, they were loud, and it wasn't just him, it was Robert, it was all the bodies Ha'gel had worn through his years of studying various cultures.

There were so many. So many voices, thoughts, memories, all coming through at once. He couldn't do this. He didn't want this.

He needed it to stop.

His face went slack, eyes blank as he retreated inside himself, away from the chaos and the noise of it all. He just wanted it to be quiet again, that wasn't too much to ask, was it?

[ooc: for anyone who might have reason to be around! pings will be slowish while i am at work.]

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[firstofitskind]

"I remember feeling? Proud? Of that."

[arboreal_priestess]

"Why?" Verity asked softly.

[firstofitskind]

"It was my job," he told her.

[arboreal_priestess]

"Why?" Verity asked again. "When did that become your job?"

Think, Liam. Think.

[firstofitskind]

“A couple years ago,” Liam told her. “The Iron Shepherds came through town, they were looking for people who wanted to make some extra coin...”

Something about that made him stop, frowning.

“That’s not. That isn’t right?” he said, hesitantly. That didn’t sound right. He had started a new job a couple years ago, but that had been in Fandom.

[arboreal_priestess]

"No," Verity said. "That's not right. That's not you. Push those thoughts away, separate them out from what's you and what isn't."

[firstofitskind]

“It’s hard,” Liam admitted. “Hard to tell where they end and I begin.”

[arboreal_priestess]

"That's why I keep asking you questions," Verity said. "So that we can figure it out. And...you can always ask me, too? I know who you are, Liam. I know what's you and what isn't."

Like when he said he'd enjoyed hurting people. That wasn't him.

[firstofitskind]

“I should know,” Liam muttered. “I shouldn’t need someone to tell me who I am.”

And yet.

[arboreal_priestess]

"In fairness, you only need help when you've pulled people into your brain," Verity pointed out. "That's not a normal thing."

She elbowed him. "What have we said about the concept of 'shouldn't'?"

[firstofitskind]

“That I shouldn’t pull people into my brain?”

Oh look, a terrible joke! That was definitely 100% Liam.

[arboreal_priestess]

"There's my husband," Verity murmured. "Also...no. But also also yes."

Because not what she'd meant - which he very well knew - but also yes.

[firstofitskind]

“I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly. Even though they’d also had a conversation about apologizing.

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity sighed, but fortunately they were home and she could just open the door and pull him inside. "C'mon," she said, tugging him towards their room. "You get undressed and I'll start your bath."

This wasn't over, but at least he was verbal again.

[firstofitskind]

He nodded, slowly stripping off the clothes he’d been wearing- his own, at least, and not... not his, the person whose memories were mingling with his own.

(His weren’t the only ones doing so, of course, but they were certainly the loudest.)

[arboreal_priestess]

Seriously, there had to be a way to get this to stop happening. Verity wished Ghanima would come back from the desert and help him again.

She got the taps going at a reasonable temperature and came back into the room. "It's going," she told him. "You hungry? Thirsty?"

[firstofitskind]

Just the thought of food turned his stomach right about now, honestly.

“Could use a drink,” he admitted.

Not that kind of a drink.

[arboreal_priestess]

"I'll get you some water," Verity said, knowing very well that Liam was never interested in that kind of drink. "And put water on for tea."

On low, so even if they took awhile in here, the kettle wouldn't boil over.

[firstofitskind]

Well, there were times when he was, but on the bright side, he wasn’t at a point where drinking seemed like a good idea?

“Kay,” he nodded. “I’ll, uh. Just,” he nodded towards the tub.

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity shooed him on. "I added some lavender bathsalts," she added. "They're soothing, but you might have to swish the water around a bit to make sure they're all dissolved and you're not sitting on anything gritty."

[firstofitskind]

Liam made a bit of a face at ‘gritty’, but nodded, drawing his hands through the water a few times before stepping all the way into the tub.

He slid down, head resting on the edge and eyes drifting closed.

[arboreal_priestess]

Verity gave him a few minutes to himself, figuring a break might be something of a relief before she went back in and started making him work again.

She filled up the teapot, set the burner on low, and prepped a mug with some chamomile before filling up a glass with cool water and bringing it back to him.

"Hey," she said softly.

[firstofitskind]

Much longer and he probably would have started to drift again, which she likely knew.

His head tilted slightly, one eye cracked open as he gave her a tiny smile. “Hey.”

[arboreal_priestess]

"Bath helping?" she asked, handing over the water.

[firstofitskind]

“Yeah,” he admitted, sitting up and taking a long sip from the glass. “Thanks.”

If he’d been left to his own devices, he probably would’ve ended up collapsed on the bed while still fully-clothed.